Why do I tell people we ok when we are not? Why do I push people away when they offer assistance. Why is it so hard for me to admit that I can’t make it on my own. Why is it so hard to ask for help?
The answer to this question broke my heart. I have believed the lie. I held self-reliance and self-sufficiency as one of my best qualities and attributes. Examine the definitions of these two words:
Self-Reliance: reliance on one’s own efforts and abilities.
Self Sufficient: able to maintain oneself outside of aid: capable of providing for ones own needs; having extreme confidence in one’s own ability or worth
The greatest achievement of the devil is to convince people that God does not exist and/or that we do not need him. He got me to believe the exact opposite of the word of God. The devil had me believing my whole life that having to depend on someone is weakness and this type of weakness is shameful. If allowed, the devil will manipulate anything from God and turn it into a sin. I believed that my pridefulness in my independence and self-sufficiency was good, but this is a contradiction to God’s word.
Pride is a sin
Pride is a sin because it’s perspective is self-centered not God-centered.
”But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:6
I used to pride myself in my accomplishments. I never gave thanks or recognition to God for my achievements. This was exactly what the devil wants. The false belief that I did everything on my own and I can do for myself. I was not refusing God, I did not know better. I was vulnerable to the devil because I did not know God’s word.
“For all that is in the world- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life- is not from the Father but is from the world.”
1 John 2:16
I have spent my life in a era that raised girls to push themselves to be independent and self sufficient. “Don’t be in a position where you can not support yourself or have to depend on someone else.” I was raised in a small middle class neighborhood where the moms stayed home and dads went to work. No one in our neighborhood was divorced. The Vietnam war was over and feminism was in full force. I No time in my life did I ever learn that God is my source, my provider and to depend on him for everything.
There is a measure of humbleness that comes from receiving help. I did not know what it meant to be humble. The phrase I used most of the time was “It is my way or the highway”. Through the grace of Jesus I was rescued from myself. I was rescued from my desire for independence and brought in a relationship with him. Hearing, Receiving and Believing the word of God helped me release the carnal independence that controlled my heart and replaced it with Spiritual independence.
Spiritual Independence
To be spiritually independent is to be released, to do one’s thinking, under God’s direction, unswayed by worldly opinions and beliefs. It is not activated by self-will, arrogance, or pride, but by obedience to Jesus. Spiritual independence allowed me to receive the truth about my thinking and recognize the lie. Spiritual independence allowed me to receive the truth about healing and recognize the lie. Spiritual independence allow me to receive the truth about living as a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven and recognize the lie.
Why is being self-sufficient a tool of the devil? He uses this to create inside of you a fundamental core value that builds up a resistance to a realtionship with God. God has hardwired us to depend on him. The devil wants everyone to reside in sin. Self-reliance and Self-suffiency is what sin does to our heart. God uses people to help us through our challenges.
We accept his demonic wisdom in place of the wisdom from above.
“You have plowed iniquity; you have reaped injustice; you have eaten the fruit of lies. Because you have trusted in your own way and in the multitude of your warriors,..”
Hosea 10:13
This verse relays a cause and effect reality. Israel wanted and trusted in their own ways and relied on their own strength resulting in moral corruption, injustice, and acceptance of lies.
We need to humble ourselves to the reality that when bad things happen it is because we are attempting to live as we were not created to do so, apart from God.
”Sin causes us to deny our need for God and others. Sin causes us to assign ourselves the wisdom , strength, and righteousness we do not have. Sin causes us to dethrone God and enthroned ourselves. Sin is shockingly proud and self-assured.
Paul david tripp
My life is a direct response to my action to God’s word.
How did I move from a worldly independent, self-sufficient, self-centered life to one of dependency and servitude? The Lord drew me to him because he seen that I have a humble heart but a worldly mind.
”For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7
God promises us that those who seek him will find him. I was seeking yet never read the Bible. God knows your heart and he knows your intentions. The chose me and he chose you also.
“Blessed are those who are pure in heart for they shall see God”
Matthew 5:8
Steps to Spiritual Independence
- Abide in his word. Spend time with God daily by reading the Bible.
- Pray. Spend time with God daily by praying. Just talk to him in your way. Thank him and ask for guidance and the ability to know when it him.
- Be defiant. Do not give space to the devil. Keep your eyes and thoughts on things that are from above.
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